This Little Piggy Went to Argentina

January 28, 2017

As another week abroad comes to an end, my mind is on beginnngs. On fresh starts and ignited futures. The impending New Moon ushers in a spirit of detoxing the bad, multiplying the good, and ultimately walking forward as the best you possible. The Chinese New Year (shout out to the Rooster!) gives us another chance from another angle to contemplate on who we are and what areas there are for growth.

In many ways, this trip symbolizes my shedding of old skin(s) and walking into the destinies of a life I deserve. If you had asked me freshman year if I planned on studying abroad, the idea would have been faint, and only faint. I came into school with a very strict path that included overworking myself to the bone, all to the benefit of having some dream journalistic reality. Even if you had asked me last year, my response would've been "maybe, but it's too late now." This trip exists as death to the "it's too late not," mentality that I've been so prone to sticking to throughout my life.

Should I even apply?
Should I reach out to this person?
What's the point of going now?
It's too late, there's no point.

Here's a fun fact: I applied for this program the day before its application was due. My wonderful journalism school didn't think it wise to advertise the impending deadline until then. But alas, after a long, stressful night of essays and application questions, my app was in. In the nick of time. And it wasn't too late, obviously, because I'm remembering that night as I sit on the balcony of my Argentine apartment.

As Black women, so often we've been socialized not to realize when we deserve something that we wholeheartedly deserve. Sometimes, everyone will see it but us. We've often had to take the back seat in realms of racial and gender liberation (much love to my GNC family as well), and thus the mentality of taking the back seat gets masked as some ultimate form of humility.

Oh you lead that entire successful campaign? Well still be humble, girl.
You wrote that?! Dang, well stay humble.
Don't get too happy that you managed that group impeccably. Anyone could've done it.

Okay...no. Today, we stop that. Or at least I'm stopping it.

This mentality nearly ruined this trip for me. Y'all might remember my research findings that the Black people in Argentina are few and far between, right? (click here to read) Well...it's still true, haha. There aren't many of us. But the aforementioned fearful attitude legitimately had me convinced that, because of this, I wouldn't enjoy my time here. Well I haven't yet been here but I can definitely tell you that I am having a wonderful time. Outside of missing my granny's black eyed peas, this is exactly what I needed. Not to say I haven't ran into any...interesting experiences while here (looking at YOU, old lady who didn't think I lived in my apartment building), but if I'm being honest? I've run into much worse in the USA. And sometimes, it takes a little bit of "woah," to have that epiphany.

It took me flying 5,000 miles away from home, to 80 degree weather days, to non-GMO food, to 4-hour work days and $2 cocktails...in order for me to realize just how much I do deserve. I've worked my @$$ off these 3-and-some-change years. Helped re-establish students groups, won my fair share of awards, started publications, marched in rallies and protests, even got up at 7 AM every Saturday for 2.5 years straight. And I wouldn't change any of that for the world. But this, now? This is my season of pay off. This season is the universe reminding me that those late nights and stress and tears were not in vain.

And so I will continue to do the work. Standing up for what's right, pushing for better accessibility, creating better spaces for marginalized people, advocating for self care. I will continue to do the work. And I'm not cutting myself short on it again, either.

Uruguay update?